Breadiquette

August 27, 2012

Heads up: this is going to be a pretty bratty post – short, but bratty (like me!)

Often times at restaurants, you’re served bread. Often times, I see people eating their bread in very different ways – it’s like a personality quiz or something.

  • Some people take a slice of bread, spread butter on it, and take bites out of it like toast. Civil.
  • Some people take two pieces of bread together, put the butter in between, and eat it like a mini-sandwich. Civil.
  • Some people take bread and stick it up their nose.
  • Some people take bread and stick it up their butt.
  • If there’s olive oil, some people dip the whole piece of bread and bite a chunk out of it. I kid you not, everytime I see people do this, I automatically think of cavemen eating chunks out of a chicken leg.

But there’s actually a proper way to eat bread: you take a piece of bread, tear off a bite-size piece, spread butter on that one piece or dip that one piece in olive oil, and then eat it. One at a time. You’ll see, it’s much more refined. That detail is often overlooked during meals, but it really makes all the difference. Don’t worry, even if you’ve been eating bread differently up until now, it’s ok, we can still be friends! But hopefully you’ll take this bit of advice into consideration.

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Ugh finally! Someone who understands me! People really don’t know how to eat bread. I am going to share your post with all of my ill-mannered friends!

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